Daily Archives: January 17, 2013

Day #3-Day #4..That was fun!

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I am sitting here killing time on my day off. I have three 12 hour shifts coming up and I think I deserve some downtime before then. Oh, you ask what do I do in that time? I love to write.

Hope you had the chance to read the letter of recommendation for friendship in my previous post, it was fun to write. As I was trying to think of what I wanted to post next, I popped over to another blog and read some hilarious jokes about “special” people from Alabama..fuel for the fire baby..what follows is the addendum to a personnel policy/procedure handbook just for those “special people”.

PERSONNEL POLICY/PROCEDURE HANDBOOK

Please familiarize yourself with the information contained in this handbook, your professioanlism is essential to the continuing growth of the “company”. (read the handbook, dictionaries [books with the meaning of words and phrases] are supplied on a first come first serve basis). Pending back order at the time of this publication.

  • Camouflage attire of any type, steel toe boots, coon skin caps, tee shirts with iron on logos, and sleevless shirts with the phrase “Get Er Done” are absolutely prohibited.
  • We ask that you do not carry your tobacco products sticking out of the front top left hand pocket of your approved “company” shirt.
  • 4 legged creatures of any type I.E. hound dogs, rabbits, squirrels, possum etc. are expressly prohibited at “company” picnics.
  • Please do not park your jacked up Chevy 4×4 with the ‘superswampers’ in the visitor parking areas.
  • The employee health nurse is prohibited from applying any type of ‘salve’, ointment, paste or any other non FDA approved ‘remedy’ to any type of workplace injury including papercuts, stapler puncture wounds and handheld pencil sharpener abrasions [this policy is stricly enforced].
  • We ask that you refrain from using phrases such as: Bowed Up, Cattywampus, Darn Tootin’, Fit to be Tied, Nearbout, No’Count, Yonder and Sho’Nuff.
  • Staff meetings are closed to employees only. Please do not bring Granny, Unckle Jed, Ant Petunia, Cu’sin Earl or any other non-employee to any function that has the word “meeting” in it.
  • The policy for sick days is strickly enforced. You may not use sick time to take days off for hunting, fishing, frog-gigging, Noodling or any other outdoor sporting event.

WELCOME TO THE “COMPANY”..We take great pride in being the premier sponsor for the greater Birmingham and Dothan  Area “Special People Olympics”.