Showing Up

GREY MATTER LIFE

Woven through the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, decades and moments entwined from our first to last inhalation of life breath, our lives are held together and formed by all those who simply showed up.

Strangers, friends, family and every iteration of being between; each showed up before we ever had a conscious understanding of what it meant to have anyone show up.

Since the beginning of time, humanity has shown up. You have shown up. I have shown up and and I dare to say that showing up is one of the most powerful gifts one can bestow upon another being.

We show up by choice. We show up by court order. We show up to get paid and we show up with no expectations. We show up by obligation and we show up by a calling. We show up with heartbreak, hearts overflowing, hope, anticipation, remorse, regret, tears…

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On: The death of bedside nursing (and why it should matter to everyone…)

This is the nursing reality of 2017! Great post & on point!

LANDSLIDE

Michele, I have no idea if you know that tonight your memory has helped quiet my spirit. Thank you….

My Last Words..

I have had 2,856 views on my blog. I am so grateful for that. For the longest time I had been wanting to say and write what I feel. Then someone came into my life and gave me direction..blogging.

I embraced it wholeheartedly with the intention of being fearless and saying what I think and what I truly believe. I did that for the most part with only the intention of expressing my views and maybe along the way sharing a part of me.

Until one day not so long ago..I let words take away one of the brightest parts of my life. My honesty and yes, poorly chosen words, hurt and angered someone that I deeply cared for, admired and respected.

As I sit here, I realize that my words hurt and/or angered someone else that I adored and that is unacceptable. My intention is to just be human, nothing more nothing less. A feeble attempt at expressing who I am, where I’ve been and where I hope to go.

It is so true that words themselves have tremendous power and thus very heavy implications. I have learned that the hard way.

You can’t take them back, all you can deal with is what is left behind. In essence, you learn the hard way..that your words can shatter the very things you wanted to protect..and when you realize this it may very well be too late.

No one ever said that words had to be kind, but they should be respectful and somehow I overlooked that and forged ahead with all I had. A mistake I will forever regret.

However these words will stay with me and hopefully I will learn from them:

“God determines who walks into your life…YOU decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.”

 

 

 

THE BARBIE COMPLEX

It has taken me 30+ years to get here! I am not 36-24-36..I am not your Barbie doll!
I am 40-28-38 and finally proud of it!

I have a brain that actually works. I have emotions that get out of hand. I don’t always smile. I have hormonal moments. I fuck things up royally at times. I have a big mouth and yes, I have an opinion about almost anything!

If you want me to wear 5 inch heals then be prepared to catch me when I fall and bust my ass!

If you want me to look like “Twiggy” then steal my grocery money.

If you want me to keep my mouth shut then buy a roll of duct tape.

If you want me to wear the latest “runway fashion” then make it fit for full breasts and real thighs!

I am not, nor will be, your plastic, brainless, witless, frigid “Barbie doll”!!

Should you buy into the modern image of a woman..buy stock in “Mattel”  and the outdated, overpriced pathetic figure of a plastic wanna be!!

AKA…

The Barbie Complex..it’s your loss, not mine!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How insightful, so true, Thank you Yunichar!

The ZONE

“Do not ask God to guide your footsteps…If you are not willing to move your feet.” (author unknown)

Wow this really hit me last night.

I suspect many of us live in that “comfort zone”, Nurses are notorious for it. I decided last night to step outside of that zone with a simple phone call to check on a friend. No response..

But that’s OK. The point is I did it. I took a deep breath and dialed the numbers. I didn’t leave a message. I hung up after no answer and then exhaled.

My point is that if we do not decide to step out of the zone with baby steps of course, how will we ever move forward? It’s tough. But I think maybe it really is just that simple..you have to move your feet forward in order to follow a guided path.

Would I make that phone call again? Not sure. But I stepped outside “The ZONE” and just knowing I did is enough for me.

Today I will ask God to guide my footsteps because I am willing to move my feet. Granted they may be “baby steps” but they are still a step forward.

With Love, SMARTERWISER

 

OVER 40 CON’T

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention I got so lonely I tried to have a meaningful conversation with Daisy, my dog. I almost lost Bart, the cat, outside in the dark last night. Found a dish towel in the freezer and put dirty dishes in the cabinet cause the dishwasher magnet was on “CLEAN”..

I have read this several times. I prayed through tears this morning that the wind would someday help those ripples find their way back to me in God’s time…

I may be 70 y.o. Before I get her .. Life will still be short!:)