Alone

I am beginning to hate the holidays for no good reason.  Sometimes I feel so empty. And today was no better. I agreed to meet my estranged husband (a polite term for him) at the Academy to buy my son some Christmas presents. As we were walking out I saw my good friend Kathy and she looked at me so disgusted.  God, I felt like I had to drop everything and explain to her that I only met HIM at the store to buy a present for my son.  I felt so a ashamed.  I was not “with” HIM but only met him there and still I felt a twinge of humiliation.  You see, HE made a little more than a pass at my twin sister..why can’t I be a “bitch”?! Lord help me that is just not a part of who I am.  The divorce has been dragging out because HE says HE is broke and has no where to go so I feel sorry for HIM.  What the hell is wrong with me??? I have no clue.  I was supposed to go to my twin sisters for Thanksgiving and I ended up home alone because she felt “sick”. Now she is headed off to her friend Scotts.

I hate feeling like this.  I feel alone and empty. GOD, please take me thru the darkness and let me come out on the other side whole and not feeling lonely.

P.S. I am not necessarily a Dolly Parton fan but I swear this song seems so appropriate!

Yours truly

SMARTERWISER?

Best Friends

 

Best friends since 4th grade. She is not strikingly beautiful, she is not super intelligent, she lives a simple unpretentious life. She is absolutely astonishing in my book. Never smoked, never drank..never indulged. She truly cares about others and tries to do the best she can. I love you for all you are and all that you are not. Thank you for being my lifetime friend. I love you and miss you dearly! I am sending you a prayer in the wind that you will always find happiness and joy in your life. You of all people deserve it!

First things first..Let’s have fun

I am sitting here thinking I have lost my mind!  It is almost 2330 and I am checking all the posts on my Facebook page.  Why is there such a fascination with this ?  hmmm.. some people think it’s crap and others live to FB.  I on the other hand find it extremely amusing to see what some of my friends come up with.  Sometimes the posts are a big help and other times I go straight to the delete key.  It is amazing to see what you learn about people by their posts.  I guarantee you that those who FB often learn a thing or two about a co-worker, friend etc. that they otherwise wouldn’t know.  Exhibition at it’s best!!  A sort of free for all if you will.  Crap or not, it is entertaining as hell and for those of you that find yourself in hot water at work for posts..well you shoulda known better.  The whole world see’s your true colors if they look hard enough. Kinda reminds me of the freewheeling’ 60’s, the Hippie movement, anything goes! Peace out….